Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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