She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
