Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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