I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
