CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
