The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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