u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
