TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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