I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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