This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
