i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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