it wasn't lemon gatorade
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
