that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
