Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
