I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
