That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
