And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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