No more Irish car bombs ever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I currently don't understand fingers.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
