party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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