its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
