Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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