if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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