ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
