He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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