My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
