I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize