i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize