FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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