Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize