Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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