guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My bed smells like the plague
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
