i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
