There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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