it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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