I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
