I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
