what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize