no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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