i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
