Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize