i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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