p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
