You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
