god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
