i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think people are normalizing furries
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