eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
