Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
