So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
