Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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