Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
