at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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