I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
