Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
