clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
