How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
