So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
