Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
