Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
