I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize