i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
