then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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