I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
