Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
