The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
